Mr Hunter

Just the other day i came across in my 'Inbox' on Facebook another tab that reads 'Other' for some reason i was completely unaware of this, in this message box was an array of messages from various groups and people i'd never come across before, so i began reading through the various rubbish i had been sent, when i came across this little gem.

From: 'Annie Ra**ano'

"Ha bro its hunter what country you in if your in aus come or what to come back let me know running a brothel in Melbourne call me on 04*******0"

A blast/psycho from the past had come out the blue and found me through some random girl's page, which leads me to my time in the Sunny yet twisted Gold Coast of Australia.

I had been living with some family friends in the Western suburbs of Sydney for a couple of months, i had been working in a surf shop slowly losing my mind when i decided i had to upsticks after an invite from a girl i'd met in S.E Asia, so i packed my bags and left for 'The Goldie'

After a cheap flight with 'Virgin Blue' to Brisbane Airport i was greeted by my old acquaintance and we hot footed it to just outside Brisbane city to stay with one her travelling trio's current male friend, a guy called Dan.

Dan is what the Australians call a 'Bogan' (An Aussie Chav/Redneck), before getting back to his house he recommended we stop at the local supermarket to stock up on meat for a barbeque (in true Aussie tradition) and apparently smoke some 'Ice' in the back of the butchers! Dan's friend worked behind the meat counter and promptly filled up bags of meat to the equivalent of about $100 and without paying he took us round the back of the butchers where they proceeded to smoke their methamphetamines, whether i took part or not is beside the point but what a welcome to Brisbane!

We spent 2 days at Dan's in the end, which i can only compare to the Partridge Family on Crack, not only was he himself addicted to smoking Ice, but also his mother, his father and his two brothers, i have a distinct recollection of them all sitting on the bed together passing round a glass pipe, at that point i was pretty happy to go.

My lady friend (lets call her Mandy) had organised an apartment for us to move into which was being rented by a Korean guy named 'Kyu' who was an absolute anal motherf****r of a person about pretty much everything, the kind of guy who puts signs around the apartment before you've even moved in explaining the Do's and Don't's of living in his 2 bedroom box.

This is where i encountered the one and only Mr Hunter (pictured below with the lovely Mandy)

Mr Hunter had been living in the room we were set to move into with his Japanese girlfriend, Kyu never mentioned their reasons for moving out, but over the lengthy period of time i knew Mr Hunter i suppose it became pretty obvious.

Mr Hunter is one of those guys who compulsively lies and does find it hard to keep up with the lies he's told, his story went a bit like this;

Mr Hunter was adopted by a couple on the Gold Coast, at the age of 14 he lost his virginity to a priest (then a few months later he told me it was a social worker at youth camp), he dropped out of school and joined the Australian army and served in Afghanistan  years later where he would regularly capture and torture members of the Taliban, but also at the same time he was a male prostitute in Tokyo where he'd accompany rich Japanese women in night clubs and be paid for his services...but lets not forget that whilst he was whoring himself out in Japan and ridding the world of the Taliban he was ALSO locked up in jail where he divulged to me his many male relationships and stories of extorting various other inmates.....Mr Hunter was a real piece of work, but at the same time his lies were soo extreme that you just couldn't help but listen!

The exploits of Mr Hunter:

I had been working as a door-to-door electricity salesman in the blistering Australian heat, it was Valentines day and i finally had a day off and after a s**t week of barely any sales i was having a of rest waiting for Mandy to come back that evening after her shift in a cafe. All of a sudden there was a knock at the door, it was Hunter.

He'd decided to turn up after only meeting once when moving in, he'd arrived with a bag which contained;

-A full bottle of Vodka

-2 bottles of wine

-Half a bottle of absinthe

-A bottle of 'bittus' (pure alcohol for essence)

I woke up to find a note on the side of my bed reading "I came home, you were passed out in bed, i've gone out", I found my wallet open by the side of my bed open with my ID, bank card and about 60 dollars cash missing.

Mr Hunter had got me pissed out my face and robbed me, though it was never proven.

Another time Hunter had come knocking on my doorr with blood pouring from his hands with a t-shirt wrapped round it, exclaiming he had to put a guy's head through a window! Again this was never proven.

One other exploit; i was working for a magic shop (whoring myself out doing street magic for little to no commission) when Hunter rang me saying "come down the beach and have a beer", after a BOTTLE OF VODKA (not a beer!) i had been fired from my s**t job, got caught in a rip tide and thought i was going to die drunk at sea until a life guard came to help!

Almost 8 months had passed and i hadn't seen Hunter, since then i had moved away from the Gold Coast to a place called Moreton Island where i worked as a barman for 'Tangalooma Resort', imagine Peter Kay's 'Phoenix Nights' in Australia and you're pretty much on the ball, it was absolute hell, i was put up in a room which had less luxury than the f***king hole the girl was kept down in 'Silence of the Lambs', i think i lasted maybe a week till i got the f**k out of there, but still a very beautiful island and worth a visit.

 

I swallowed my pride and moved back to the Goldie with a close friend of mine, as i said it had been a fair while since seeing Hunter and to be honest it was for the best, until one day there was a knock at my door.
I was severely hungover from the previous night so i unwillingly opened the door, and low and behold there was Hunter standing there beaming a smile saying "G'day mate"!
All i was thinking was "How on the f**king earth has this psycho found me", he went on to explain;

"So i went out last night mate and it all got a bit messy, pretty sure i bashed a copper and done a house invasion, but anyway i woke up this morning in some house and found this in my pocket,
(Hunter then proceeded to pull 1000 Dollars in cash from his jeans)
So here's 200, you go get some s**t and i'll get some booze"
I agreed, what ensued was a 2 day bender of rum, Japanese girls, various narcotics, and sushi....only with Hunter does this weird s**t happen.

In the same apartment one night we had decided to throw a party for Halloween, strangely Hunter decided to turn up uninvited (it was like he had a camera on us), of course in true Hunter style he turns up with a fat lip, two cases of rum wearing a 'bum bag' (fanny pack) which was full with about 20 bottles of Amyl Nitrate.....i'll leave you with the aftermath.